After a long time

Its been a long time, or simply I hadn't even remembered posting here, nor was/am I very interested. But I want to talk, talk with someone or to someone (one-sided). I want to get stuff of my mind, so I can analyze and take a breath. It's been two months since the second year of my college started. Yes, there were lots of events, culturals, tournaments and stuff, so distracting, yes, but I am losing this sense of control. I don't know what is happening anymore. I dislike this lack of control in my life. I want to know what I'm doing, "think" about what I am doing, and do what I must otherwise do.

I have committed myself in variety of stuff, but not putting my heart in anything. I don't seem to have much talent in those type of stuff, but still I want to do the difficult stuff, the uncomfortable stuff, to get used to it, to be better than the previous me. I want to be a tryer, a doer, a hardworker.

To be continued....